How to Stop Holding a Grudge- Against Yourself

It’s all about letting go. Let go of the negativity about a person or something he or she did (or didn’t do). It’s hurting you much more than it’s affecting them. Just as positivity attracts positivity, negativity magnetizes negativity. So, people who also have a negative mindset are more likely to drift towards you and you to them.

 

Change your thoughts; change your life. Bringing positive people into your life that pick you up instead of those that suck out all of your energy (the “energy suckers”). You know the people I’m talking about- who only talk about themselves and all of the horrible things happening in their lives.

 

They don’t ask how your day is going. Instead, you become a sounding board for negative energy; and it’s exhausting! Kick those grudges out of your head so positivity can rent the space and move-in. After evicting grudges, you’ll have room for those who are willing to invest in YOU instead of just living there for free.

 

Negative self-talk can turn into a grudge against YOURSELF. It’s as though there is a person in your brain telling you “Look what you’ve done. You used to be in shape, pretty, and confident. This is all your fault and I’m never going to forgive you.” That person, however, is you!

 

If you tell yourself you’re not “good enough” over and over, you might actually start to believe it. Then, that grudge against yourself forces you back down where you started, sometimes even farther. It begins to literally spiral out of control, generalizing to the rest of your life. Now, you are a horrible parent, terrible at your job, worthless, and a failure without ANY proof that any of it is true! There is no evidence, only your own opinion.

 

Next time you tell yourself something negative or put yourself down, write the thought down on a piece of paper. Make a list. Then, take another piece of paper and line it up next to the first page, filled with negative thoughts. On the new paper, you’re going to re-word these thoughts. Take the negative statement and think about it. Is there any evidence to prove that this is true? Of course there isn’t. So, change the language and turn it into a positive statement. Next time that thought comes into your head, replace it with the positive statement. Construct a different way of thinking. So, if I were to tell myself:

 

“You should have never eaten that piece of cake. What is wrong with you? You are completely hopeless. No wonder you can’t do anything right. You’ve blown your healthy eating for the entire day. Might as well give up now.”

 

Where is the evidence that I “can’t do anything right?” I’ve done many things right in my life; so that’s invalid. What evidence is there for me to just “give up now?” By asking that voice to provide evidence that this claim is true, I’m challenging my thinking. How can this be changed and flipped to a positive thought? There are hundreds, thousands, of different ways. Here’s just one:

 

“It’s ok, it’s just one piece of cake on one day. It wasn’t the best choice, but you’re human. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven’t blown your diet. Focus on eating healthy for the rest of the day. You can do this, relax and stay positive.”

 

Try this strategy! What do you have to lose? If you want more examples or aren’t sure how to change a negative thought, send me a Facebook message (Resiliency Fitness) or write a post. It could help someone else too. No more holding grudges against yourself or anyone/anything else. Instead, let it go and make an investment in yourself.

 

Yours in health & resiliency,

~Dana

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 (From “Detroit vs. Everybody” ShadyXV, 2014)

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Stuff Your Turkey~ Not Your Stomach This Thanksgiving!

From Fitness Expert Jaime Brenkus:

Thanksgiving celebrations are a fun time to celebrate and give thanks for all the good things in your life. Thanksgiving holds traditions that date back centuries. Turkey Day traditionally is centered on a bountiful feast. This year, use the guide that’s attached in this email to help you indulge in all the great offerings that come with the holiday without going overboard.

Most men need about 2,000 calories a day, and most women need about 1,500 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight. Your Thanksgiving meal should make up about one-third of your daily calories if you plan on eating three meals on that day. In other words, women should aim for a Thanksgiving meal consisting of 500 calories and men for one consisting of 700 calories.

Simple Solutions:

1.  Divide your plate into thirds :  One third of your plate -vegetables, one third grains or starches, one third with protein.

2.  Enjoy smaller portions of the food your really want–Shouldn’t be ‘all or nothing.’

3. Eat regular meals the day of a holiday party.  Saving up the day’s calories doesn’t work because you end up so hungry –that you overeat.

No one sits down at the Thanksgiving table expecting a light meal. But between drinks, dinner, seconds and a slice of pecan pie, you might unwittingly be downing more calories than most adults should in an entire day.

LOOK: Can You Guess How Many Calories Are On Your Thanksgiving Plate?

1,144 calories 

“Keep stuffing portions under one cup (the size of a baseball),” Blatner says. “Traditional recipes contain a stick or two of butter.”

937 calories

“Instead of filling your plate with every side option, pick your top three,”

861 calories

“This dessert sampler contains more calories than a typical Thanksgiving meal. Variety stimulates appetite.” Try to choose one favorite instead of taking bites of everything.

Try these great tips and ENJOY Thanksgiving without that awful “can’t move I’m so full feeling!”

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Yours in health and resiliency,

~Dana

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5 Most Effective Ways to Transform into a “Morning Workout Person”

How many times have you heard (or asked) the question:

“When is the best time to workout?”

 

Typically, the answer is when you make time, whether that’s in the morning, after work, after dinner, or on your lunch break. In our hectic world, it is better to workout at some point in the day than not workout at all. But, working out in the morning has some serious benefits that will make building a sweat worth getting out of bed:

–  You are much more productive throughout the day.

–  You are much more likely to make healthy food choices.

–  You are less stressed knowing you already worked out and don’t have to worry about finding time later in the day.

–  You are better able to cope with unexpected tasks or decisions.

–  Early morning endorphins boost your mood for the rest of the day.

–  You will actually have MORE energy after a great workout, not less.

 

1.     Be Ready to Workout—the Night Before

Just thinking about rushing around trying to find workout clothes when you’re half asleep will make you want to curl back up in bed. So, why not get ready the night before? Put your workout clothes on your nightstand or next to your bed.

When you get up, grab them, change, and off you go! No rushing around like a crazy person! Bonus: You’ll cut about 15 minutes off your morning routine~ one less reason to pull the covers over your head.

 

2.    The Old Buddy System- “Virtual Style”

It’s all about accountability. Have a friend type a post on Facebook or Twitter that says something like “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow at 6:30 am!” ~ and then tag you or several people meeting at the gym to workout or for a class. Now everyone knows where you should be at 6:30 the next morning! You just got called out- to become healthier! Knowing that you are getting to see positive people that are caring and supportive will also help you get out of bed. Friends are looking out for you and cheering you on!

 

3.    Put Mints in Your Nightstand

Really? That’s what I thought too. I read this tip from Brett Hoebel, fitness trainer and founder of Hoebel Fitness. He suggested that the sugar in the mint will wake up your brain and trigger your taste buds into thinking that food is on its way. Plus, no morning breath! I tried this for a week (thinking there’s no way it’s is going to help) and it actually worked. I could get out of bed and get ready for my workout so much more easily than without the mint. Weird? Yes, Worth trying? Absolutely.

 

4.   Put Your Alarm Clock Across the Room

That alarm clock is blaring from the other side of the room, refusing to let you sleep. You can’t just turn over and hit the snooze button. To shut that annoying sound off, you have to physically get out of bed, walk across the room, and turn it off. Since you’re already up and out of bed, you’ve just made it through the hardest step! I know that bed might be calling your name, beckoning you to return and cuddle, but it will have to wait for later that night.

 

5. Use the IFTTT App

The what?? I learned about this at the SMART Success Academy; and it is just too cool. It stands for “If This, Then That.” You create “recipes” using your phone and/or all channels of social media. For a morning workout, you can make a recipe that basically states: “If the time is 6:00 am, then I need to get up and out of bed. That means I need a wake-up call on my phone, just like at a hotel.” The recipe can be whatever works for you. You can have the app call your phone and when you pick up, you hear an actual recording of your own voice saying something like “OK; you’re up! It’s a new day, time to do that workout! Think about how amazing you are going to feel after!” Go to www.IFTTT.com to learn the in’s and out’s and how to make your own recipe. It can be used in so many ways; you’ll love it!

 

Working out in the morning is no easy task. (I am nowhere near perfect at this, trust me) If it was, everyone would be exercising at 6:00 am! Time, patience, and practice is what it takes. You can learn a new habit in just 21 days. Commit to this new habit. You won’t regret it.

 

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3 Tactics to Improve Stage Presence

I know a lot of group fitness instructors who are just starting out sometimes get a little nervous in front of a big class of people! So, here are some tips that I’ve learned over the years that I hope will help or provide ideas as to how you want to teach your class. It’s all about being you! Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself! 🙂

 

  1. Don’t be over-prepared

  • Practice doesn’t always make perfect! Too much rehearsal can make it feel impersonal or robotic. You want the audience to see you and your personality shine through.
  • Be natural on stage, not perfect! The audience wants to know you are human, understand their feelings, and can relate personally to your topic.
  • Read the audience. If you over prepare, you will only be thinking about what you’ve memorized and how to get through it quickly. Pay attention to body language. It’s not about what you say, but HOW you say it!

 

 

  1. Think about your audience before yourself

  • Focus on what you can GIVE to your audience
  • You are in front of an audience because you are an expert in a certain area. Share that knowledge with others. Your words can change lives.
  • Make it personal. Tell a story that the audience can relate to
  • Engage and make eye contact~ not just with the people in the front row.
  • Move across the stage/platform, covering the space. Point to people who are actively engaged, sitting forward, nodding, and giving you energy. They will know you see them and make a connection.
  • You want people to feel that you are talking TO them, not AT them.

 

 

  1. If you make a mistake or leave out information, keep your cool.

  • To be perfectly honest, the audience technically doesn’t know what you’re going to be doing or talking about. That’s why they come to see and listen to what you have to say!
  • Don’t react when you make a mistake; act natural. No one can read your mind or see what is in your notes. However, they can see what you are communicating nonverbally. 80-90% of what we communicate is nonverbal, so they are actually more likely to notice.

 

Most importantly, HAVE FUN and invite your audience to do the same!

 

 

 

You Throw #LikeAGirl

#LikeAGirl  —-> click for video on YouTube

When I saw this video my eyes welled up and tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t have a little girl. But, if I did, I would do everything in my power to instill in her self-confidence, strength, self-respect, the meaning of true beauty, and how to love herself enough to stand up for herself and her beliefs. I remember as a kid not wanting to be a girl. In fact, I even begged my dad to let me play football. Being a girl, to me, meant you were weak, feeble, and could never measure-up to the boys. You’d never be good at math and you’d definitely never be able to play sports with the boys. Girls just didn’t possess those skills. I was almost afraid that if I did anything “like a girl”- throw a ball, shoot a basketball, run, etc., that I would be thought of as a lesser being. I realize now that I do swing a bat like a girl, run like a girl, kick like a girl, and throw like a girl… with power, speed, and strength. That’s it. I don’t do those things “like a boy.” I do them like me.

Society puts so much pressure on girls to dress, talk, act, sit, eat, play, and behave a certain way. Then, we confuse them by saying not to do something “like a girl” as if it were an insult. It has become so incredibly difficult to instill confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth in girls, especially with all of the social media, magazines, and television shows constantly berating girls with images of how they “should” be. However, it takes one video, one force, one voice to open people’s eyes and change their perspectives. If this message can make just one person stop and  really think about the impact their words truly have, it can change the lives of so many girls. This video needs to be shared again, and again, and again…. Kindle like this can turn a spark into an inferno and transform the thinking patterns and perspectives of an entire generation. Now is the time. Our girls need us more than ever…

Life Lessons from the Playground: Never Forget How to be a Kid

Sometimes, the best part of being an adult is experiencing what it feels like to be a kid again. When you’re a kid, a day free of worries or cares is normal. As an adult, that feeling is like a gift in a hectic, busy,world filled with to-do lists and responsibilities. Today, my boyfriend Jim and I decided we’d become kids again. Without a second thought, we went to the store, got a basketball, and went to play some hoops at the playground. file9951296299810We were kids again, making sweet shots, hitting nothing but net, sharing so much happiness, and reminiscing about our childhoods.  As we were laughing, running, jumping, just so incredibly happy to live life in the moment, nothing else in the world existed. Problems became mere illusions and obligations came second to concentrating on a shot I needed to make to prevent getting the “E” in HORSE 🙂 (Unfortunately, I lost, I’ll admit it!) file0001062269908

It was just FUN to PLAY. A midst our crazy adult world, today made me remember that we ALL need to make time feel like kids again. Jim is so good at helping me release all of my “have-to’s” and “must-do’s” and remember what really matters in life. Living a happy and healthy life means giving yourself permission to be spontaneous, let go of stress for the moment, laugh, forget your worries, and find time to be a kid again. file000586584069As a child, I was always outside playing; and with all of that exercise, no wonder I was so happy and full of life and energy. So, this week, find time to play. Leave “real-life” to be a kid again. Escape. Feel your heart and soul soar. Once you experience it and remember that feeling, you won’t forget it again.

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Gain Muscle to Lose Fat~ Become a Leaner You!

You need to gain if you want to lose…. Talk about an oxymoron!  When someone asks me, “What is the most effective way to lose weight and get into shape?” My answer is not what you might be thinking. It’s not by doing three hours of intense cardio everyday, but by lifting weights and strength training. That lovely yellow mass in the picture above is fat. It’s 5 pounds of fat, to be exact, and is about the same size as 2 footballs! Think about this, if a person is 50 pounds overweight, multiply that fat mass by 10. 20 footballs! In the battle of muscle vs. fat, it’s the density, not the weight that matters. 5 pounds is 5 pounds. BUT, because muscle is so much more dense, about 18% more, than fat, it takes up less space in your body. The more muscle, the smaller/leaner the person! I’m not talking about lifting light weights, but weights that will challenge your muscles. That is how you BUILD muscle. So, despite hesitation and hype and rumors, if you can lift heavier weight, go for it! You’ll be stronger, less prone to injury, and have a leaner body by dropping inches!

A woman who weighs 160 pounds and has 35% body fat will be larger (in inches measured) than a person who weighs exactly the same, but only has 20% body fat. How crazy amazing is that? So, those two women may wear different sized clothing, yet weigh the same! This is why STRENGTH training is so incredibly important. I can’t say it enough. The more muscle, the leaner you become (with proper nutrition and exercise). This is exactly why lifting weights will NOT make you bulkier or bigger. In fact, it will not only cut inches, it will help your body burn more fat. Muscles use/need more energy and burn more calories, even when you’re not working out. Talk about boosting your metabolism! That is something a 3-digit number on the scale won’t tell you. Throw the scale away and go lift some weights. 😉

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