How to Stop Holding a Grudge- Against Yourself

It’s all about letting go. Let go of the negativity about a person or something he or she did (or didn’t do). It’s hurting you much more than it’s affecting them. Just as positivity attracts positivity, negativity magnetizes negativity. So, people who also have a negative mindset are more likely to drift towards you and you to them.

 

Change your thoughts; change your life. Bringing positive people into your life that pick you up instead of those that suck out all of your energy (the “energy suckers”). You know the people I’m talking about- who only talk about themselves and all of the horrible things happening in their lives.

 

They don’t ask how your day is going. Instead, you become a sounding board for negative energy; and it’s exhausting! Kick those grudges out of your head so positivity can rent the space and move-in. After evicting grudges, you’ll have room for those who are willing to invest in YOU instead of just living there for free.

 

Negative self-talk can turn into a grudge against YOURSELF. It’s as though there is a person in your brain telling you “Look what you’ve done. You used to be in shape, pretty, and confident. This is all your fault and I’m never going to forgive you.” That person, however, is you!

 

If you tell yourself you’re not “good enough” over and over, you might actually start to believe it. Then, that grudge against yourself forces you back down where you started, sometimes even farther. It begins to literally spiral out of control, generalizing to the rest of your life. Now, you are a horrible parent, terrible at your job, worthless, and a failure without ANY proof that any of it is true! There is no evidence, only your own opinion.

 

Next time you tell yourself something negative or put yourself down, write the thought down on a piece of paper. Make a list. Then, take another piece of paper and line it up next to the first page, filled with negative thoughts. On the new paper, you’re going to re-word these thoughts. Take the negative statement and think about it. Is there any evidence to prove that this is true? Of course there isn’t. So, change the language and turn it into a positive statement. Next time that thought comes into your head, replace it with the positive statement. Construct a different way of thinking. So, if I were to tell myself:

 

“You should have never eaten that piece of cake. What is wrong with you? You are completely hopeless. No wonder you can’t do anything right. You’ve blown your healthy eating for the entire day. Might as well give up now.”

 

Where is the evidence that I “can’t do anything right?” I’ve done many things right in my life; so that’s invalid. What evidence is there for me to just “give up now?” By asking that voice to provide evidence that this claim is true, I’m challenging my thinking. How can this be changed and flipped to a positive thought? There are hundreds, thousands, of different ways. Here’s just one:

 

“It’s ok, it’s just one piece of cake on one day. It wasn’t the best choice, but you’re human. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven’t blown your diet. Focus on eating healthy for the rest of the day. You can do this, relax and stay positive.”

 

Try this strategy! What do you have to lose? If you want more examples or aren’t sure how to change a negative thought, send me a Facebook message (Resiliency Fitness) or write a post. It could help someone else too. No more holding grudges against yourself or anyone/anything else. Instead, let it go and make an investment in yourself.

 

Yours in health & resiliency,

~Dana

holding a grudge

 (From “Detroit vs. Everybody” ShadyXV, 2014)

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Stuff Your Turkey~ Not Your Stomach This Thanksgiving!

From Fitness Expert Jaime Brenkus:

Thanksgiving celebrations are a fun time to celebrate and give thanks for all the good things in your life. Thanksgiving holds traditions that date back centuries. Turkey Day traditionally is centered on a bountiful feast. This year, use the guide that’s attached in this email to help you indulge in all the great offerings that come with the holiday without going overboard.

Most men need about 2,000 calories a day, and most women need about 1,500 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight. Your Thanksgiving meal should make up about one-third of your daily calories if you plan on eating three meals on that day. In other words, women should aim for a Thanksgiving meal consisting of 500 calories and men for one consisting of 700 calories.

Simple Solutions:

1.  Divide your plate into thirds :  One third of your plate -vegetables, one third grains or starches, one third with protein.

2.  Enjoy smaller portions of the food your really want–Shouldn’t be ‘all or nothing.’

3. Eat regular meals the day of a holiday party.  Saving up the day’s calories doesn’t work because you end up so hungry –that you overeat.

No one sits down at the Thanksgiving table expecting a light meal. But between drinks, dinner, seconds and a slice of pecan pie, you might unwittingly be downing more calories than most adults should in an entire day.

LOOK: Can You Guess How Many Calories Are On Your Thanksgiving Plate?

1,144 calories 

“Keep stuffing portions under one cup (the size of a baseball),” Blatner says. “Traditional recipes contain a stick or two of butter.”

937 calories

“Instead of filling your plate with every side option, pick your top three,”

861 calories

“This dessert sampler contains more calories than a typical Thanksgiving meal. Variety stimulates appetite.” Try to choose one favorite instead of taking bites of everything.

Try these great tips and ENJOY Thanksgiving without that awful “can’t move I’m so full feeling!”

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Yours in health and resiliency,

~Dana

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5 Most Effective Ways to Transform into a “Morning Workout Person”

How many times have you heard (or asked) the question:

“When is the best time to workout?”

 

Typically, the answer is when you make time, whether that’s in the morning, after work, after dinner, or on your lunch break. In our hectic world, it is better to workout at some point in the day than not workout at all. But, working out in the morning has some serious benefits that will make building a sweat worth getting out of bed:

–  You are much more productive throughout the day.

–  You are much more likely to make healthy food choices.

–  You are less stressed knowing you already worked out and don’t have to worry about finding time later in the day.

–  You are better able to cope with unexpected tasks or decisions.

–  Early morning endorphins boost your mood for the rest of the day.

–  You will actually have MORE energy after a great workout, not less.

 

1.     Be Ready to Workout—the Night Before

Just thinking about rushing around trying to find workout clothes when you’re half asleep will make you want to curl back up in bed. So, why not get ready the night before? Put your workout clothes on your nightstand or next to your bed.

When you get up, grab them, change, and off you go! No rushing around like a crazy person! Bonus: You’ll cut about 15 minutes off your morning routine~ one less reason to pull the covers over your head.

 

2.    The Old Buddy System- “Virtual Style”

It’s all about accountability. Have a friend type a post on Facebook or Twitter that says something like “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow at 6:30 am!” ~ and then tag you or several people meeting at the gym to workout or for a class. Now everyone knows where you should be at 6:30 the next morning! You just got called out- to become healthier! Knowing that you are getting to see positive people that are caring and supportive will also help you get out of bed. Friends are looking out for you and cheering you on!

 

3.    Put Mints in Your Nightstand

Really? That’s what I thought too. I read this tip from Brett Hoebel, fitness trainer and founder of Hoebel Fitness. He suggested that the sugar in the mint will wake up your brain and trigger your taste buds into thinking that food is on its way. Plus, no morning breath! I tried this for a week (thinking there’s no way it’s is going to help) and it actually worked. I could get out of bed and get ready for my workout so much more easily than without the mint. Weird? Yes, Worth trying? Absolutely.

 

4.   Put Your Alarm Clock Across the Room

That alarm clock is blaring from the other side of the room, refusing to let you sleep. You can’t just turn over and hit the snooze button. To shut that annoying sound off, you have to physically get out of bed, walk across the room, and turn it off. Since you’re already up and out of bed, you’ve just made it through the hardest step! I know that bed might be calling your name, beckoning you to return and cuddle, but it will have to wait for later that night.

 

5. Use the IFTTT App

The what?? I learned about this at the SMART Success Academy; and it is just too cool. It stands for “If This, Then That.” You create “recipes” using your phone and/or all channels of social media. For a morning workout, you can make a recipe that basically states: “If the time is 6:00 am, then I need to get up and out of bed. That means I need a wake-up call on my phone, just like at a hotel.” The recipe can be whatever works for you. You can have the app call your phone and when you pick up, you hear an actual recording of your own voice saying something like “OK; you’re up! It’s a new day, time to do that workout! Think about how amazing you are going to feel after!” Go to www.IFTTT.com to learn the in’s and out’s and how to make your own recipe. It can be used in so many ways; you’ll love it!

 

Working out in the morning is no easy task. (I am nowhere near perfect at this, trust me) If it was, everyone would be exercising at 6:00 am! Time, patience, and practice is what it takes. You can learn a new habit in just 21 days. Commit to this new habit. You won’t regret it.

 

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3 Awesome Ways to Use Apples

It’s not fall without apples, right?

Apple cider, apple pie, caramel apples… Hold up, I need to keep it healthy here! 😉 (Even though apple cider is oh so delicious!)

Tip 1:

Use apple butter or applesauce to replace the margarine, butter, or oil when baking. It adds just a little sweetness and the moisture needed to make what you are baking just as soft and delicious….. with way less fat! I do this with any kind of boxed cake or dessert, with graham cracker crusts, or even for homemade cookies (if it’s a fruit-based cookie).

Tip 2:

Add apples into a salad with chicken for a little sweet/salty combo. Or, try putting some thin apple slices on your boring old turkey sandwich to liven it right up. In the morning, nothing feels more like fall than warm healthy oatmeal with some apple pie spice and fresh apples mixed right in. Try it, you’ll love it~

Tip 3:

If you pack it, you’ll eat it. Before you go to work, take an apple with you for a snack. Or, if you have kids, make sure to throw one into their lunch bags. Apples are at their best this time of year, so get as many fresh ripe apples while you can! Apples are great in the morning too because they give you ENERGY! Some research has shown they provide more energy than reaching for that extra cup of coffee….. Plus, they have a lot of fiber to make your stomach happy too…. Convinced yet? 🙂 I hope so!

A Report Card You Don’t Want to Bring Home

The very first U.S. Report Card on Physical Activity for Children and Youth was recently released, and let’s just say the grades weren’t something you’d want to show your parents. Overall, the grade for “overall physical activity” was a D-, a barely passing grade. Four out of the ten categories were given “incompletes,” indicating there wasn’t even enough data to give a grade. The report card stated that only 24.8 percent of 12-15 year-olds get the recommended 60 minutes of physical activity every day. A “D” was given for “sedentary behaviors.” To me, this wasn’t really a huge shock. But, the fact that kids between the ages of 6-19 spend 424 minutes EACH DAY sitting was utterly startling. After spending so many years as a school psychologist, it makes me wonder if there is a correlation between this and the number of students diagnosed with ADHD? Maybe they’re just not given enough time to MOVE! So what happens? They act out, can’t sit down, and can’t focus. With the constant barrage of information they are hit with day after day, that lack of movement makes it difficult to learn and retain information. But, that’s a whole other blog post (or a book 😉 ).

 

Children and youth spend over 7 hours per day engaged in sedentary activities, and children become more sedentary as they get older. No wonder the report card grade for “sedentary behaviors” was a D. The only plus I saw on the report card was that more elementary schools, since 2010, are requiring physical education classes. However, that is at the elementary level, not high school. PE is still not a requirement for all four years in the vast majority of high schools. Fewer kids are walking or biking to and from school. Most either ride the bus or are picked up and dropped off.

 

The report card gave an incomplete in the area of “active play”- the proportion of U.S. children and youth participating in daily unstructured, unorganized active play. I think there is an incomplete in this area because they know the data collected would be unbelievably terrifying. How many kids and teens do you see outside engaging in active play with peers? There are barely any. Why? Well, because they can play Xbox games with friends while sitting on the couch! There’s really no need to walk down the street to see a friend when there’s Face Time, texting, Facebook, Twitter, etc. and they can communicate with dozens of friends at once, right in the convenience of their own home.

 

I don’t know when playing stopped being fun. Isn’t that the meaning behind the word “play?” Adults, we are doing such a disservice to our kids. This needs to end NOW. We need to step it up and stop taking the easy way out. 17 year-old teens are being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. One-third of children are now considered overweight or obese. If they are overweight or obese as children, what is going to happen to them as adults? Then, the pattern will continue with the next generation, and the next, and the next. Bottom line, we as adults are the ones that need to change the fate of our kids and teens. Now is the time.

 

 

You Throw #LikeAGirl

#LikeAGirl  —-> click for video on YouTube

When I saw this video my eyes welled up and tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t have a little girl. But, if I did, I would do everything in my power to instill in her self-confidence, strength, self-respect, the meaning of true beauty, and how to love herself enough to stand up for herself and her beliefs. I remember as a kid not wanting to be a girl. In fact, I even begged my dad to let me play football. Being a girl, to me, meant you were weak, feeble, and could never measure-up to the boys. You’d never be good at math and you’d definitely never be able to play sports with the boys. Girls just didn’t possess those skills. I was almost afraid that if I did anything “like a girl”- throw a ball, shoot a basketball, run, etc., that I would be thought of as a lesser being. I realize now that I do swing a bat like a girl, run like a girl, kick like a girl, and throw like a girl… with power, speed, and strength. That’s it. I don’t do those things “like a boy.” I do them like me.

Society puts so much pressure on girls to dress, talk, act, sit, eat, play, and behave a certain way. Then, we confuse them by saying not to do something “like a girl” as if it were an insult. It has become so incredibly difficult to instill confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth in girls, especially with all of the social media, magazines, and television shows constantly berating girls with images of how they “should” be. However, it takes one video, one force, one voice to open people’s eyes and change their perspectives. If this message can make just one person stop and  really think about the impact their words truly have, it can change the lives of so many girls. This video needs to be shared again, and again, and again…. Kindle like this can turn a spark into an inferno and transform the thinking patterns and perspectives of an entire generation. Now is the time. Our girls need us more than ever…

Self-Myofascial Release: Get Rolling!

Self-Myofascial Release (SMR) is a self-massage technique that aids in the recovery of soft muscle tissue and has been shown to improve overall health and fitness. Think of it as though you’re giving your body a deep-tissue massage. Research has shown that SMR augments joint range of motion, enhances athletic performance, increases muscle resiliency, and prevents injury. SMR also corrects muscle imbalance, aids in muscle relaxation, and decreases muscle inflammation and soreness. I use foam rollers, but it can also be done with tennis balls (many with plantar fasciitis roll their feet over a tennis ball), hand-held devices, or medicine balls. Interestingly, the body reacts to foam rolling as if the muscles have been injured, immediately sending receptors to aid in repair. By confusing your own body, SMR can increase rapid muscle recovery. Foam rolling also improves vascular endothelial functioning, the organ system that regulates blood flow based on muscle movement. One study showed that subjects who used SMR with a foam roller before doing vertical jumps had significantly less fatigue than those who didn’t use a foam roller prior to the drill.

 foam rollers

If you’ve had a great back/neck massage, or given one, you may recall the “pop” when rolling over a muscle knot. It continues to pop if pressure is applied back and forth across the muscle. Pressing directly on the muscle helps release the knot; but it can be uncomfortable. As tight muscles turn over the foam roller, the same “pop” will occur. I’m not going to lie, it won’t feel great. But, you’ll become accustomed to the sensation. The key is to roll slowly and stop for about 30-60 seconds when you hit a tender spot. Allow your muscles to relax. Just give into it. Continue breathing while the muscles release. It’s important to maintain core stability by pulling the navel towards the spine (without rounding the back) while rolling. Using the proper technique will take practice. *It should be noted that those with congestive heart failure, kidney (or any organ) failure, or any organ failure, bleeding disorders, or contagious skin conditions should not participate in SMR without medical clearance.

Although, during the action of SMR, rolling over knotted muscles may be a little painful, the benefits far outweigh any discomfort. The discomfort is not bad! You are giving your body an amazing gift. I have a love/hate relationship with my foam rollers; but I can definitely say it’s more love. Rollers come in many different styles and lengths. Pick the one that’s right for you! The roller in the picture has some added pressure points; but I also have a solid foam roller. I can feel a huge difference in my muscle strength and flexibility when I use the roller on a regular basis. Breathe and remember that your muscles will thank you later. Now, get to rolling!

References:

Penney, S., Foam Rolling- Applying the Technique of Self-Myofascial Release, National Association of Sports Medicine, August 2013.

Keller, J. The Benefits of Self-Myofascial Release, IDEA Fitness Journal; 2013: 96.