How to Stop Holding a Grudge- Against Yourself

It’s all about letting go. Let go of the negativity about a person or something he or she did (or didn’t do). It’s hurting you much more than it’s affecting them. Just as positivity attracts positivity, negativity magnetizes negativity. So, people who also have a negative mindset are more likely to drift towards you and you to them.


Change your thoughts; change your life. Bringing positive people into your life that pick you up instead of those that suck out all of your energy (the “energy suckers”). You know the people I’m talking about- who only talk about themselves and all of the horrible things happening in their lives.


They don’t ask how your day is going. Instead, you become a sounding board for negative energy; and it’s exhausting! Kick those grudges out of your head so positivity can rent the space and move-in. After evicting grudges, you’ll have room for those who are willing to invest in YOU instead of just living there for free.


Negative self-talk can turn into a grudge against YOURSELF. It’s as though there is a person in your brain telling you “Look what you’ve done. You used to be in shape, pretty, and confident. This is all your fault and I’m never going to forgive you.” That person, however, is you!


If you tell yourself you’re not “good enough” over and over, you might actually start to believe it. Then, that grudge against yourself forces you back down where you started, sometimes even farther. It begins to literally spiral out of control, generalizing to the rest of your life. Now, you are a horrible parent, terrible at your job, worthless, and a failure without ANY proof that any of it is true! There is no evidence, only your own opinion.


Next time you tell yourself something negative or put yourself down, write the thought down on a piece of paper. Make a list. Then, take another piece of paper and line it up next to the first page, filled with negative thoughts. On the new paper, you’re going to re-word these thoughts. Take the negative statement and think about it. Is there any evidence to prove that this is true? Of course there isn’t. So, change the language and turn it into a positive statement. Next time that thought comes into your head, replace it with the positive statement. Construct a different way of thinking. So, if I were to tell myself:


“You should have never eaten that piece of cake. What is wrong with you? You are completely hopeless. No wonder you can’t do anything right. You’ve blown your healthy eating for the entire day. Might as well give up now.”


Where is the evidence that I “can’t do anything right?” I’ve done many things right in my life; so that’s invalid. What evidence is there for me to just “give up now?” By asking that voice to provide evidence that this claim is true, I’m challenging my thinking. How can this be changed and flipped to a positive thought? There are hundreds, thousands, of different ways. Here’s just one:


“It’s ok, it’s just one piece of cake on one day. It wasn’t the best choice, but you’re human. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven’t blown your diet. Focus on eating healthy for the rest of the day. You can do this, relax and stay positive.”


Try this strategy! What do you have to lose? If you want more examples or aren’t sure how to change a negative thought, send me a Facebook message (Resiliency Fitness) or write a post. It could help someone else too. No more holding grudges against yourself or anyone/anything else. Instead, let it go and make an investment in yourself.


Yours in health & resiliency,


holding a grudge

 (From “Detroit vs. Everybody” ShadyXV, 2014)



5 Most Effective Ways to Transform into a “Morning Workout Person”

How many times have you heard (or asked) the question:

“When is the best time to workout?”


Typically, the answer is when you make time, whether that’s in the morning, after work, after dinner, or on your lunch break. In our hectic world, it is better to workout at some point in the day than not workout at all. But, working out in the morning has some serious benefits that will make building a sweat worth getting out of bed:

–  You are much more productive throughout the day.

–  You are much more likely to make healthy food choices.

–  You are less stressed knowing you already worked out and don’t have to worry about finding time later in the day.

–  You are better able to cope with unexpected tasks or decisions.

–  Early morning endorphins boost your mood for the rest of the day.

–  You will actually have MORE energy after a great workout, not less.


1.     Be Ready to Workout—the Night Before

Just thinking about rushing around trying to find workout clothes when you’re half asleep will make you want to curl back up in bed. So, why not get ready the night before? Put your workout clothes on your nightstand or next to your bed.

When you get up, grab them, change, and off you go! No rushing around like a crazy person! Bonus: You’ll cut about 15 minutes off your morning routine~ one less reason to pull the covers over your head.


2.    The Old Buddy System- “Virtual Style”

It’s all about accountability. Have a friend type a post on Facebook or Twitter that says something like “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow at 6:30 am!” ~ and then tag you or several people meeting at the gym to workout or for a class. Now everyone knows where you should be at 6:30 the next morning! You just got called out- to become healthier! Knowing that you are getting to see positive people that are caring and supportive will also help you get out of bed. Friends are looking out for you and cheering you on!


3.    Put Mints in Your Nightstand

Really? That’s what I thought too. I read this tip from Brett Hoebel, fitness trainer and founder of Hoebel Fitness. He suggested that the sugar in the mint will wake up your brain and trigger your taste buds into thinking that food is on its way. Plus, no morning breath! I tried this for a week (thinking there’s no way it’s is going to help) and it actually worked. I could get out of bed and get ready for my workout so much more easily than without the mint. Weird? Yes, Worth trying? Absolutely.


4.   Put Your Alarm Clock Across the Room

That alarm clock is blaring from the other side of the room, refusing to let you sleep. You can’t just turn over and hit the snooze button. To shut that annoying sound off, you have to physically get out of bed, walk across the room, and turn it off. Since you’re already up and out of bed, you’ve just made it through the hardest step! I know that bed might be calling your name, beckoning you to return and cuddle, but it will have to wait for later that night.


5. Use the IFTTT App

The what?? I learned about this at the SMART Success Academy; and it is just too cool. It stands for “If This, Then That.” You create “recipes” using your phone and/or all channels of social media. For a morning workout, you can make a recipe that basically states: “If the time is 6:00 am, then I need to get up and out of bed. That means I need a wake-up call on my phone, just like at a hotel.” The recipe can be whatever works for you. You can have the app call your phone and when you pick up, you hear an actual recording of your own voice saying something like “OK; you’re up! It’s a new day, time to do that workout! Think about how amazing you are going to feel after!” Go to to learn the in’s and out’s and how to make your own recipe. It can be used in so many ways; you’ll love it!


Working out in the morning is no easy task. (I am nowhere near perfect at this, trust me) If it was, everyone would be exercising at 6:00 am! Time, patience, and practice is what it takes. You can learn a new habit in just 21 days. Commit to this new habit. You won’t regret it.


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You Throw #LikeAGirl

#LikeAGirl  —-> click for video on YouTube

When I saw this video my eyes welled up and tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t have a little girl. But, if I did, I would do everything in my power to instill in her self-confidence, strength, self-respect, the meaning of true beauty, and how to love herself enough to stand up for herself and her beliefs. I remember as a kid not wanting to be a girl. In fact, I even begged my dad to let me play football. Being a girl, to me, meant you were weak, feeble, and could never measure-up to the boys. You’d never be good at math and you’d definitely never be able to play sports with the boys. Girls just didn’t possess those skills. I was almost afraid that if I did anything “like a girl”- throw a ball, shoot a basketball, run, etc., that I would be thought of as a lesser being. I realize now that I do swing a bat like a girl, run like a girl, kick like a girl, and throw like a girl… with power, speed, and strength. That’s it. I don’t do those things “like a boy.” I do them like me.

Society puts so much pressure on girls to dress, talk, act, sit, eat, play, and behave a certain way. Then, we confuse them by saying not to do something “like a girl” as if it were an insult. It has become so incredibly difficult to instill confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth in girls, especially with all of the social media, magazines, and television shows constantly berating girls with images of how they “should” be. However, it takes one video, one force, one voice to open people’s eyes and change their perspectives. If this message can make just one person stop and  really think about the impact their words truly have, it can change the lives of so many girls. This video needs to be shared again, and again, and again…. Kindle like this can turn a spark into an inferno and transform the thinking patterns and perspectives of an entire generation. Now is the time. Our girls need us more than ever…

The Biggest Loser~ The Secret Behind The Weekly Weigh-In

Each time I watched the Biggest Loser, I remember thinking to myself: How is it possible for someone to lose 15 pounds in one week? Well, I was recently given an article that answered my question: “They aren’t.”  Recently, one of the contestants, Andrew “Cosi” Costello came forward with some shocking truths about the secrets behind this astonishing weight-loss. He said the “weekly weigh-in” was never filmed after just one week. In reality, there was up to a 25 day gap between weigh-ins. There’s a big difference between 1 week and 3 1/2.  He said exactly what I was thinking: People get inspired to get off the couch, get moving, and eat healthy, But, in the real world, when people work all week and don’t lose that kind of weight, some people feel like they’ve failed and give up. That, right there, is the problem. This misconception isn’t just caused by The Biggest Loser, but by society as a whole. I want to change that.

The reason I’m sharing this has nothing to do with creating drama or whistle-blowing. I am sharing this because of the effect I think it has on people who are trying to lose weight and get into shape in real-life. I can sense the frustration of those watching this show, witnessing people lose 10-20 pounds, while they may have lost 1 after working out and eating healthy all week. If it was me, I’d be wondering what I was doing wrong, why I wasn’t losing weight that quickly. I’d become discouraged too. That’s when the frustration leads to setbacks and eventually, giving up. It makes me really upset because it gives the world a completely distorted perception of what is possible and not possible when trying to lose weight and become more healthy. Everyone is different and everyone will lose weight at a different pace. However, for people to think that they should be able to lose 10 pounds per week or they “aren’t doing enough” just isn’t right. So, I need you to understand the implications of this so that you aren’t so incredibly hard on yourself over something that isn’t even comparable. There’s a big difference between the progress someone is able to make in 7 days vs. 25 days. Plus, the people on the show workout for an unreasonable amount of hours per day and, as it said in the article, were also extremely dehydrated before the weigh-in.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think this show is great because it motivates and inspires others to live a healthy and happy lifestyle. It shows people that everyone can get out there, workout, and lose weight. Just keep it realistic when comparing it to your own life. You do you! Work hard, eat healthy, love life. That’s what you need to do to change your life. The inches will come off, so please, please don’t quit. You can do this…. keep it in perspective, and don’t be defined by the scale.


Short on time? Try these on for size!

I have been creating some great  videos with exercises you can use anywhere at anytime on Instagram and YouTube. Check out my Instagram page, @dana_titus or search using #resiliencyfitness. You can also find me on YouTube! Just search for “Dana Titus.” They are a work in progress and these are only the beginning of a new and amazing chapter in my life. Watch them and, more importantly, use them! As always, if you have a question about any of the exercises (or other content) please don’t hesitate to send me a message. Much love! 🙂

Setting SMART Goals

Humans. If we had to pick the one thing we hate most in the whole world, it would be change. It is just our nature. Change involves doing something different, pushes us out of our comfort zone (our favorite place to be), and honestly, requires work! However, what we don’t see is the fact that our lives change in some way EVERY SINGLE DAY. So, if that doesn’t seem like a big deal, then why do we see some changes as being monumentally out of reach to the point that even trying feels like wasted effort? Well, there are a couple of reasons: A. Only looking at the big picture. B. Seeing the goal as a means to an end rather than a process.  C. Not rewarding yourself for small changes along the way. whether you think you can

See, when it comes to fitness and living a healthy lifestyle, the change you really need to make doesn’t have anything to do with dietary restrictions, working out to the point of exhaustion, or a number on the scale. It is MENTAL change. When you can change your outlook, the way you look at your goals, and believe that you and only you are in control of your own life, everything else falls into place. I’m going to make mental change a series of posts, because as I said before, none of us like being inundated with change. We want to be successful and in control of our own lives. (Trust me, I know this for a fact. I’ve lived it)

The first catalyst to change is a decision. It is a yes or no question “Do I want to live a healthy lifestyle or myself and am I willing to make small changes to live the life I deserve?” Now if you didn’t answer “yes,” what were you thinking about? What was holding you back? See, we are hardwired to protect ourselves from change and avoid commitment. You may be thinking about all of the factors against you, speak negatively about your ability, have already determined the outcome, or don’t really know where to start. First you have to say “yes.” Then, I can show you where to start.

Have you said YES? If you still haven’t, write down why. We will tackle these in another post (or many).

OK, you’re decided to make a change. Now, you have to create a goal, a SMART goal.


First, your goal has to be specific. What do I mean by that? It has to state what you will do, how long, and how many times, let’s say, per week you will do something that leads you towards an outcome. Examples: “I will walk on the treadmill at 3.5 mph, for 30 minutes, five days per week.” Or “I will incorporate at least one serving of vegetables and one serving of fruit into each meal, 3-4 times a day, 6 days per week.”

Your goal has to be something you can measure. Why? Because you need to base your outcome on where you start and where you want to be. Looking at the walking specific statement above~ That can be measured using a calendar. Each day, when you perform that activity, you put a big star on that day. At the end of the week, you can see if you reached that 5 days per week goal. The easiest way to measure a goal of this nature is, of course, by weight. I don’t like relying on a number, but for many people, it’s a huge motivator. You have your baseline, or starting weight, and can monitor your progress very easily and even convert it into a graph. You could also calculate your BMI throughout your fitness journey or take body measurements weekly/biweekly/monthly.


This is where the “Aiming-Too-High” (aka ATH) article comes into play. Many times, people set goals so high that no human being could ever achieve. If you haven’t worked out in 10 years, don’t expect to be able to start working out 6 days a week for an hour each day. When you set unattainable goals, it’s setting you up for what you perceive to be failure. Instead, smaller goals should be set. They should be a challenge, but not so much of a challenge that they put you right back where you started. Goals should be small because at each milestone, you know you’ve achieved what you had set out to achieve. Then, you can set another goal. With each triumph comes more self-confidence, more motivation, and more self-efficacy. You know you can do it. Also, you can reward yourself! Give yourself some credit! We’ll go into this in a later article as well! 🙂

Time-Bound stopwatch-1-256328-m

When you set a goal, there has to be a starting point and an ending point (goal attainment). Without it, you lose motivation because you feel like you can just do it “whenever.” There’s no deadline, so what’s the rush, right? There’s a reason we have deadlines. So, again, make it attainable. Don’t try to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks. Not possible. (Unless you didn’t eat or drink and exercised for hours each day….seriously, don’t do that!!)  A more attainable goal might be to lose 6 pounds in one month. So, one month from that start date is your deadline. Now, what do you have to do to make it happen? We’ll work through that too, but remember, each and every person is different. There isn’t just one way to reach your fitness/wellness goal, trust me. Find what works for you. There’s more out there than you think! There’s a soulmate workout waiting for you. You just need to find it.

So, putting that all together, you can see how important setting a goal is. Without a goal, what are you working towards? Without a SMART goal, it’s hard to develop a plan for getting there. When you write your goal, put:






along the side of a piece of paper. Then, write notes so you can tie it all together instead of trying to think about everything at once. It’s easy to get confused and lose perspective. Think of it as an outline, a guide, a tool, for writing your goals. Take it one letter at a time! Creating a SMART goal is the first step on your trip towards becoming the person you want to be…. the person you know you are.

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How Food & Nutrition Affect our Mood & Mental Health

…. and what you can do to prevent it from knocking your fitness goals off-track!

Yesterday when I spoke about importance of scheduling when you are going to eat meals or snacks, I said I would give you the information on WHY it’s so vital. I went to a workshop about food, nutrition, and mental health, and the knowledge I gained is so important for reaching your health and fitness goals. Even small changes make a big difference. In reading this, notice the signs and symptoms of hypoglycemia, why you may be overeating when you get home, the benefits of eating often, and how it connects with my last post.

A person eating a western diet comprised of foods such as processed meats pizza chips, hamburgers, meat pies, white bread, sugar, flavored milk drinks, and soda is 50% more likely to have depression. (Jacka, 2010)

However, a person with a dietary pattern made up of vegetables, fruits, beef, lamb, fish, and whole-grain foods (traditional diet), was associated with a lower likelihood of depressive and anxiety disorders. (Jacka, 2010)

vegetablesContributing Nutrition/Health Factors to Mental Health Conditions

Infrequent meals (causes hypoglycemia)

Diet low in protein (if you have a meal without protein, you are more likely to feel hungry again sooner, blood sugar will drop sooner)

Diet high in refined carbohydrates

Diet low in omega 3 fatty acids

Lack of exercise

Lack of sleep


Artificial stimulation (caffeine, video games, internet)


What Can We Do?

Benefits of Eating Often

 Prevents macro- and micro-nutrient deficiencies, which contribute to anxiety and depression.

 Prevents hypoglycemia, which contributes to anxiety and anger.

 Lowers levels of adrenaline and cortisol, which contribute to the flight or fight response.


** how often??

ALWAYS eat breakfast, and add protein to your breakfast.  This will help your blood sugar remain stable and you will be less hungry sooner. Eat meals/snacks every 3 hours.


Hypoglycemia & Executive Functioning

What is hypoglycemia?

– abnormally low/deficient amount of sugar in your bloodstreamsugar crash


Mild Signs



Increased heart rate


Increased sweating



Moderate Signs


Decreased concentration



Mental confusion

What causes hypoglycemia?

Hypoglycemia occurs when your blood sugar (glucose) level falls too low. Most hypoglycemia occurs when you haven’t eaten (when you’re in a fasting state). During digestion, your body breaks down food and creates molecules such as glucose, the main energy source for your body. Glucose is absorbed into your bloodstream after you eat, but it can’t enter the cells of most of your tissues without the help of insulin — a hormone secreted by your pancreas. When the level of glucose in your blood rises, it signals cells in your pancreas to release insulin. The insulin unlocks your cells so that glucose can enter and provide the fuel your cells need to function properly. If you are not producing glucose to fuel your cells, the effects of hypoglycemia occur.

How does it affect my mood?

Decreases attention

Decreases emotional regulation

Decreases ability to cope with stress

Increases impulsive behavior

…. and how do these four things connect?… by causing emotional eating, stress eating, overeating, and then negative self-talk. That’s why it’s so important to eat often. People who eat more meals throughout the day not only way less, but feel less stressed, anxious, and depressed. So, eat more! Yes, I said eat more! I don’t mean go out and eat McDonald’s an extra 3 times a day, but spread out your meals and keep healthy snacks on hand, just in case you feel that blood sugar drop. Your workouts will be better because you have more energy, you’ll work out more often, find less excuses, and see results!