How to Stop Holding a Grudge- Against Yourself

It’s all about letting go. Let go of the negativity about a person or something he or she did (or didn’t do). It’s hurting you much more than it’s affecting them. Just as positivity attracts positivity, negativity magnetizes negativity. So, people who also have a negative mindset are more likely to drift towards you and you to them.

 

Change your thoughts; change your life. Bringing positive people into your life that pick you up instead of those that suck out all of your energy (the “energy suckers”). You know the people I’m talking about- who only talk about themselves and all of the horrible things happening in their lives.

 

They don’t ask how your day is going. Instead, you become a sounding board for negative energy; and it’s exhausting! Kick those grudges out of your head so positivity can rent the space and move-in. After evicting grudges, you’ll have room for those who are willing to invest in YOU instead of just living there for free.

 

Negative self-talk can turn into a grudge against YOURSELF. It’s as though there is a person in your brain telling you “Look what you’ve done. You used to be in shape, pretty, and confident. This is all your fault and I’m never going to forgive you.” That person, however, is you!

 

If you tell yourself you’re not “good enough” over and over, you might actually start to believe it. Then, that grudge against yourself forces you back down where you started, sometimes even farther. It begins to literally spiral out of control, generalizing to the rest of your life. Now, you are a horrible parent, terrible at your job, worthless, and a failure without ANY proof that any of it is true! There is no evidence, only your own opinion.

 

Next time you tell yourself something negative or put yourself down, write the thought down on a piece of paper. Make a list. Then, take another piece of paper and line it up next to the first page, filled with negative thoughts. On the new paper, you’re going to re-word these thoughts. Take the negative statement and think about it. Is there any evidence to prove that this is true? Of course there isn’t. So, change the language and turn it into a positive statement. Next time that thought comes into your head, replace it with the positive statement. Construct a different way of thinking. So, if I were to tell myself:

 

“You should have never eaten that piece of cake. What is wrong with you? You are completely hopeless. No wonder you can’t do anything right. You’ve blown your healthy eating for the entire day. Might as well give up now.”

 

Where is the evidence that I “can’t do anything right?” I’ve done many things right in my life; so that’s invalid. What evidence is there for me to just “give up now?” By asking that voice to provide evidence that this claim is true, I’m challenging my thinking. How can this be changed and flipped to a positive thought? There are hundreds, thousands, of different ways. Here’s just one:

 

“It’s ok, it’s just one piece of cake on one day. It wasn’t the best choice, but you’re human. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven’t blown your diet. Focus on eating healthy for the rest of the day. You can do this, relax and stay positive.”

 

Try this strategy! What do you have to lose? If you want more examples or aren’t sure how to change a negative thought, send me a Facebook message (Resiliency Fitness) or write a post. It could help someone else too. No more holding grudges against yourself or anyone/anything else. Instead, let it go and make an investment in yourself.

 

Yours in health & resiliency,

~Dana

holding a grudge

 (From “Detroit vs. Everybody” ShadyXV, 2014)

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5 Most Effective Ways to Transform into a “Morning Workout Person”

How many times have you heard (or asked) the question:

“When is the best time to workout?”

 

Typically, the answer is when you make time, whether that’s in the morning, after work, after dinner, or on your lunch break. In our hectic world, it is better to workout at some point in the day than not workout at all. But, working out in the morning has some serious benefits that will make building a sweat worth getting out of bed:

–  You are much more productive throughout the day.

–  You are much more likely to make healthy food choices.

–  You are less stressed knowing you already worked out and don’t have to worry about finding time later in the day.

–  You are better able to cope with unexpected tasks or decisions.

–  Early morning endorphins boost your mood for the rest of the day.

–  You will actually have MORE energy after a great workout, not less.

 

1.     Be Ready to Workout—the Night Before

Just thinking about rushing around trying to find workout clothes when you’re half asleep will make you want to curl back up in bed. So, why not get ready the night before? Put your workout clothes on your nightstand or next to your bed.

When you get up, grab them, change, and off you go! No rushing around like a crazy person! Bonus: You’ll cut about 15 minutes off your morning routine~ one less reason to pull the covers over your head.

 

2.    The Old Buddy System- “Virtual Style”

It’s all about accountability. Have a friend type a post on Facebook or Twitter that says something like “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow at 6:30 am!” ~ and then tag you or several people meeting at the gym to workout or for a class. Now everyone knows where you should be at 6:30 the next morning! You just got called out- to become healthier! Knowing that you are getting to see positive people that are caring and supportive will also help you get out of bed. Friends are looking out for you and cheering you on!

 

3.    Put Mints in Your Nightstand

Really? That’s what I thought too. I read this tip from Brett Hoebel, fitness trainer and founder of Hoebel Fitness. He suggested that the sugar in the mint will wake up your brain and trigger your taste buds into thinking that food is on its way. Plus, no morning breath! I tried this for a week (thinking there’s no way it’s is going to help) and it actually worked. I could get out of bed and get ready for my workout so much more easily than without the mint. Weird? Yes, Worth trying? Absolutely.

 

4.   Put Your Alarm Clock Across the Room

That alarm clock is blaring from the other side of the room, refusing to let you sleep. You can’t just turn over and hit the snooze button. To shut that annoying sound off, you have to physically get out of bed, walk across the room, and turn it off. Since you’re already up and out of bed, you’ve just made it through the hardest step! I know that bed might be calling your name, beckoning you to return and cuddle, but it will have to wait for later that night.

 

5. Use the IFTTT App

The what?? I learned about this at the SMART Success Academy; and it is just too cool. It stands for “If This, Then That.” You create “recipes” using your phone and/or all channels of social media. For a morning workout, you can make a recipe that basically states: “If the time is 6:00 am, then I need to get up and out of bed. That means I need a wake-up call on my phone, just like at a hotel.” The recipe can be whatever works for you. You can have the app call your phone and when you pick up, you hear an actual recording of your own voice saying something like “OK; you’re up! It’s a new day, time to do that workout! Think about how amazing you are going to feel after!” Go to www.IFTTT.com to learn the in’s and out’s and how to make your own recipe. It can be used in so many ways; you’ll love it!

 

Working out in the morning is no easy task. (I am nowhere near perfect at this, trust me) If it was, everyone would be exercising at 6:00 am! Time, patience, and practice is what it takes. You can learn a new habit in just 21 days. Commit to this new habit. You won’t regret it.

 

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You Throw #LikeAGirl

#LikeAGirl  —-> click for video on YouTube

When I saw this video my eyes welled up and tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t have a little girl. But, if I did, I would do everything in my power to instill in her self-confidence, strength, self-respect, the meaning of true beauty, and how to love herself enough to stand up for herself and her beliefs. I remember as a kid not wanting to be a girl. In fact, I even begged my dad to let me play football. Being a girl, to me, meant you were weak, feeble, and could never measure-up to the boys. You’d never be good at math and you’d definitely never be able to play sports with the boys. Girls just didn’t possess those skills. I was almost afraid that if I did anything “like a girl”- throw a ball, shoot a basketball, run, etc., that I would be thought of as a lesser being. I realize now that I do swing a bat like a girl, run like a girl, kick like a girl, and throw like a girl… with power, speed, and strength. That’s it. I don’t do those things “like a boy.” I do them like me.

Society puts so much pressure on girls to dress, talk, act, sit, eat, play, and behave a certain way. Then, we confuse them by saying not to do something “like a girl” as if it were an insult. It has become so incredibly difficult to instill confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth in girls, especially with all of the social media, magazines, and television shows constantly berating girls with images of how they “should” be. However, it takes one video, one force, one voice to open people’s eyes and change their perspectives. If this message can make just one person stop and  really think about the impact their words truly have, it can change the lives of so many girls. This video needs to be shared again, and again, and again…. Kindle like this can turn a spark into an inferno and transform the thinking patterns and perspectives of an entire generation. Now is the time. Our girls need us more than ever…

The Biggest Loser~ The Secret Behind The Weekly Weigh-In

Each time I watched the Biggest Loser, I remember thinking to myself: How is it possible for someone to lose 15 pounds in one week? Well, I was recently given an article that answered my question: “They aren’t.”  Recently, one of the contestants, Andrew “Cosi” Costello came forward with some shocking truths about the secrets behind this astonishing weight-loss. He said the “weekly weigh-in” was never filmed after just one week. In reality, there was up to a 25 day gap between weigh-ins. There’s a big difference between 1 week and 3 1/2.  He said exactly what I was thinking: People get inspired to get off the couch, get moving, and eat healthy, But, in the real world, when people work all week and don’t lose that kind of weight, some people feel like they’ve failed and give up. That, right there, is the problem. This misconception isn’t just caused by The Biggest Loser, but by society as a whole. I want to change that.

The reason I’m sharing this has nothing to do with creating drama or whistle-blowing. I am sharing this because of the effect I think it has on people who are trying to lose weight and get into shape in real-life. I can sense the frustration of those watching this show, witnessing people lose 10-20 pounds, while they may have lost 1 after working out and eating healthy all week. If it was me, I’d be wondering what I was doing wrong, why I wasn’t losing weight that quickly. I’d become discouraged too. That’s when the frustration leads to setbacks and eventually, giving up. It makes me really upset because it gives the world a completely distorted perception of what is possible and not possible when trying to lose weight and become more healthy. Everyone is different and everyone will lose weight at a different pace. However, for people to think that they should be able to lose 10 pounds per week or they “aren’t doing enough” just isn’t right. So, I need you to understand the implications of this so that you aren’t so incredibly hard on yourself over something that isn’t even comparable. There’s a big difference between the progress someone is able to make in 7 days vs. 25 days. Plus, the people on the show workout for an unreasonable amount of hours per day and, as it said in the article, were also extremely dehydrated before the weigh-in.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think this show is great because it motivates and inspires others to live a healthy and happy lifestyle. It shows people that everyone can get out there, workout, and lose weight. Just keep it realistic when comparing it to your own life. You do you! Work hard, eat healthy, love life. That’s what you need to do to change your life. The inches will come off, so please, please don’t quit. You can do this…. keep it in perspective, and don’t be defined by the scale.

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Working It Out on “Live on Lakeside”

On the set of “Live On Lakeside” this afternoon with Jaime Brenkus, Hollie Strano, and Michael Cardamone! I demonstrated the “Fit Fab Four” exercises to shed those couple of winter pounds and get ready for summer! ☀️What an amazing first live show with such great people. Click the link below to see these fun and effective exercises you can do right at home:

http://www.wkyc.com/local/live-on-lakeside.com

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Teriyaki Luau Tuna Steaks

Well, Good Friday is soon approaching, and just like every other Friday during Lent, that means no meat! So, if your family has lived on some not-so-healthy fried fish sandwiches every Friday, surprise them with this delicious (and easy!) meal idea.

Ingredients:

2-4 tuna steaks (depending on family size)

1 plastic Ziploc gallon bag

1 packet McCormick Hawaiian Luau marinade mix

¼ cup water

1/3 cup apple cider vinegar

4 tablespoons teriyaki sauce

3 tablespoons hoisin sauce

(*quinoa or sweet potatoes and steamfresh vegetables of your choice on the side)


 

  1. Take tuna steaks (about 4 ounces each) and place in a plastic bag (note: I get my tuna steaks at Trader Joe’s. They are waaaay less expensive than going to a fish market, and are wild caught without any additives. So, if there’s a Trader Joe’s nearby, it’s a good way to save some money!)
  2. Mix marinade packet with water and apple cider vinegar. Add to the bag with tuna steaks
  3. Add teriyaki and hoisin sauces to bag.
  4. Sit and let marinate on a plate in the fridge for at least a half hour.
  5. Meanwhile, whip up some quinoa or sweet potatoes and cook the vegetables in the microwave.
  6. Heat a non-stick skillet at medium on the stove top.  Add spray oil if needed.
  7. After 30 minutes, take out tuna and place in skillet.
  8. Tuna is typically cooked to taste:
    1. Some people like it seared on the top and bottom and uncooked on the inside. Others like it cooked all the way through.
    2. So, cooking times will vary from about 30-45 seconds on each side to about 4-5 minutes on each side. Cook the tuna how you like it. *pay attention to the warning about eating uncooked meat and seafood, however!
  9. Serve on plates with a small portion of quinoa.  Fill the rest of the plate with vegetables. Enjoy!

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Energy Is A Decision

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“No one has ever drowned in their own sweat”- probably one of my favorite workout tanks 😉 It reminds me to push harder and that I can always do more. I’m not going to stop just because I’m tired or think it’s hard. You won’t “drown” working out, listen to that inner voice that says you can do it. See. I’ve learned that you choose how to speak to yourself and you have the power to say to yourself “I’m not tired, I can do this; I’ve never felt so strong; I’m amazing and I’ve got this!” Your brain is a powerful, and whatever you tell yourself mentally reflects what you do physically. If you say you can’t, you won’t. If you decide to tell yourself you are unstoppable, your body will believe you. So what will you decide to tell your body today? 🙂 ….. Your mind is a brilliant teacher, so listen, and do what that positive inner voice says. It has a more powerful impact on your life than you could ever imagine. In order to adopt new habits, a new normal, the brain has to be rewired. It’s simpler than you think, but you have to give your brain the positive fuel it needs to power your body and ignite your soul. That’s how change happens, for life. ❤️www.resiliencyfitness.wordpress.com❤️

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